Just Another Thought.

Ok~~ Now there's plenty of hot news around in Malaysia.

Interesting. Who would have thought that the black attempted to pull a move so soon to checkmate the white?

Too many loop holes. Seriously, pull such a cheat and the audience will boo you all the way no matter how much the judge justify your actions.

We had evolved from colonized beings to knowledgeable, educated adults. Finding it hard to control an active audience? There are many way to subdue uprisings instead of blasting people of to every parts of the universe or accusing the audience of making too much noise to make your move and you kick them out.

Better still, ineffective solutions such as blockages will not improve the situation. Damn crap day Monday was. I waited for 2 hours on the road just because you pull one of your stupid stunts. Roadblock. AHA. very effective? No... It was pointless.

So what do you get? More Boos from the audience.

Anymore inappropriate moves, the audience might just walk straight into the gaming area and flip the table over. And there goes your chess pieces, broken into pieces.

Justice shall prevail. It's only a matter of time.

Yes... I am back

I'm juz as lazy as ever. But I ain't the happiest person to begin my new semester. Why? Let's make this simple...

My exams are down the drain. As they said, no pain, no gain. Oh wait.... even plenty of pain doesn't guarantee you gain.

Next, I got bombarded by a friend in a very crude way. Being straightforward and blunt, fine, accept it. But, I don't need anyone to go to the extent of insulting me because of my flaws. I'm angry... and seriously hurt.

3rdly, I've been thinking to what extent my wrongs of my past can be such a deterrent to see what I am today.

And I think I finally found the type of people that I utterly dislike. Those who give false testimonies about others and those who make assumptions based only on the surface. How much truth you know? How do you know what I am thinking? Be gone...


4thly, I've come to realize that there are so many things I need to change to adapt in such a world. My principles, my values, my mindset.... Thinking that in the bottom of everyone's heart there is still truth/honesty/innocence? Seriously, you can only find 2-3 outta 10. The remaining people are juz plain cheaters.

Someone once said, Be humble among the humble, be proud among the proud. Same concept applies.

Take pride in your values but remember that it will not always be appreciated. Some said that all these values are just showing your weakness, but I think that it can be a very handy weapon when you use it at the right time.

Ai~~ Malas nak layan orang de... Layan dia baik, kena gigit di belakang. Cis~~

Down, drained and tired

3 words say it all.

I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. I'm lost. I feel pathetic.

Very pathetic and pitiful.

I had been trying to show to the world, to everyone that I am not weak.

You know me?

Oh yea.... you know how long have I cried and suffered inside while putting a smile on the outside?

I had been trying to show to the world, to everyone that... Hey, I don't mind if you compare me with someone else or criticize me.

Well, if you know. I do have emotions. Just trying to hide it all behind that smile plastered on my face.

You know what, when I see myself not being the favorite and was disliked and oppressed, or when I'm ignored as if I do not have a place even at the corner of their eyes, or when whatever I say or I do does not really matters, or when.... it makes no difference when I'm present or not, or when I see myself not competent compared to others, or when no matter how hard I tried I still fail....... or when I start to doubt.... if everything was worth it investing in me.

I hid it all behind that pathetic smile of mine and said to myself, " It doesn't matters..."

Yea yea.... I'm alright okay... I'm alright

With my hands, I can....

I watched a show which reminded me of something about me long ago, so it started off like this....

I was, young and vibrant (self praising?) . Naive and fresh out of primary school, I thought everything was possible, everything was attainable.

It was common to have that mindset since I was nurtured and brought up with fairy tales and happy-ending-stories every night. It was always "So they lived happily ever after" or "he finally succeeded" etc etc... And I always thought, when I grow up, I'll definitely achieve all my dreams!

Then one day, I was alone, sitting on a bench. The mild sunlight was dancing around the corner accompanied by the ever graceful soft wind. I closed my eyes, inhaled fresh air with the aroma of earth and rain.

It was like a dream, I was in trance.

I stretched my right hand up to the sky as if reaching out for something while I was admiring (more like feeling) the beauty of my surroundings. I lowered my right hand and put both of my hands onto my thigh.

As the sunlight danced around my hands, I looked at them and whispered to myself,
"Only with my hands I can do everything...
If I ever lose them, life will be nothing more than a shadow..."

(p.s.: I love making things with my hands. eg, drawing and stuff, as long as it is related to art)

Those words brought me back to my senses. It was fear that summoned me back to my consciousness.

Today, I have been trying hard to equip myself with as many skills as possible.
I joined miserable debate, became even more sociable... became one of the most talkative fellas around.... I changed so much from the shy, quiet girl I once was.

I did so much, just so to believe that there is more to life than just my pair of hands.

the girl in the tower

There was a girl in the tower looking out of the window.
She looked beyond and stared at the continents unknown to her,
she pointed to where the sun rises and she said, ONE DAY I'M EXPLORING THERE
she pointed to where the sun sets and she said, ONE DAY I'M GOING TO CONQUER THERE
she went on about her dreams and her aspirations
she dreamed of adventure and imagined the unknowns
she talked about her dreams and sometimes boasted about them
everyone smiled and some admire her courage

but she never step out her tower, or the city walls,
she never embark the journey that meant so much to her

She just stayed there whining and said what it could have been
And when her time passes maybe then she will realize
the journey never walked will all be burned to ashes

!@$#%

I always though blogging ain't hard...



"Look at their blog!! SO COLOURFUL!! I want that too...I'm gonna do this, and that...and this.... pink, NO, blue...."



What the crap.... I don't even know how to delete or alter a comment (if it is possible)....



!@#$%$



I think I'll just stick to the monotonous background... Currently, the only thing I know best is creating a new post.



And people actually says that "it's common sense" or "just play around and you'll get it!"



!@#$%$

Just Another Day

I got 2 comments for my last post. I was actually...HAPPY. I was hoping that I'd get more comments.

Well, considering the pitiful amount of people who knew about my blog.... em, let's see... so far bout 5 or 6; minus off the I-DON'T-CARE people... You get what I mean.

So why didn't I tell anyone about my blog??

Well,
1stly, I'm a lazy bum who only blog whenever my mood reaches to its extremes (either EXTREMELY happy or the other way around)

2ndly, I would not want to bear the disappointment of others on my own shoulders. For goodness sake, I had enough to handle from myself (Conflict within oneself) and of course who would forget the ever loving.... :)

3rdly, I got myself into some election thingy where my boss said NO! CLOSE UR BLOG!!! Just in case some meanies poke their nose around to sniff out some dirt... (It happened to someone last time and he got disqualified)

And PLZ hao zhi... I am trying to conceal my identity here.

4thly, I feel shy letting people read my work... I'd rather have some else do the criticism than the people I know... :)

Oh...thx CYBERMATE... I don't think I know you. So thx. :D

5thly, I just thought that it is fun to be anonymous.

Excuses, excuses... :)